ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
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So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
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Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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