We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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