do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize