Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
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By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
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He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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