dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
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I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
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It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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