is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize