It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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