if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize