I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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