Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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