I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize