All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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