does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
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the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
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I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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