roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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