I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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