remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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