I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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