We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
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I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
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I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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