My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize