I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize