nut hugger
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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