sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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