you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semen is not good for contacts.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize