She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
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Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
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Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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