if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
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Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
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We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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