i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
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A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
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I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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