You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize