It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
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I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
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Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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