ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those nachos came to me in a dream
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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