Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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