Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize