A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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