I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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