fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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