Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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