what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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