smell my finger.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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