You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Text me some of your sweat
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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