how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
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Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
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College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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