I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize