dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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