I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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