I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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