see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
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