Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
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