Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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