I must be too annoying 4 u.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
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I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
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Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize