I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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