good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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