ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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